Canoe Creations and letting go....

Noah recently went on his first ever 3 day (2 night) camping trip. He went with a great group of kids from church as well as a wonderful family who heads up Canoe Creations. He of course had a blast and I of course missed him a ton. The energy in our home is so different with out that first-born personality throughout our day. Noah's sense of humor is like his father's and was missed while he was away. 

I have to be honest in saying that it was really difficult for me to let him go.  Thankfully it wasn't my decision, as my husband made the call. Jared knew that it would be good for all of us. I tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't leave, trying to justify the fact that maybe he wasn't ready, maybe he was too young to have an overnight, what if there was a storm, what if he got a migraine?...yadda yadda yadda. 

After praying about it and being deeply convicted....it all boiled down to me not trusting God with my son. It's even hard for me to write that...but it's true. For some demented reason I had this illusion that as long as my children are with me or their Daddy they are safe from all harm. This is a lie. A lie that I have repented from, praying for God's forgiveness. I know that I will have many opportunities in which to test my faith. When I start to get that anxiety feeling inside because I don't want to let them go....I know what I must do. It is hard, and with a lump in my throat and by God's grace....I let go. 

God graciously reminds me that my children belong to Him....they are in His hands, always. And what better hands to be in, than their heavenly Father's.  

In God's providence there was a big storm while Noah was camping. I saw the dark clouds rolling in, the wind was blowing and I could hear thunder in the distance. I got online and saw the red on the radar around the lake they were on. I prayed. During the storm, a close friend called me to see how I was doing, she was well aware of my fear as I had shared with her earlier in the week.  I was able to tell her that by God's grace, I actually was not worried about him...at all. Amazing! I knew that wherever he was and that whatever happened God was with him. This security wasn't something I mustered up myself....God was faithful and supplied me with all I needed in order to trust in Him. I was so thankful for that peace.

The following photos are of when we went to pick up Noah. It was fun to watch all of them paddle in on their canoes. He was smiling from ear to ear as he walked up the hill. I had to keep myself from running to hug him. His brothers and sister missed him SO much...it was very sweet to see their excitement as they hugged and kissed their big brother. 

I think just maybe Noah grew up a little bit while away.  I guess that's what is supposed to happen to our boys...another good reason to let them go. 

Every Sunday......

On just about every Sunday Lauren falls asleep on her Daddy. We have Small Group at our home each Sunday after church and Lauren sits on her Daddy's lap....and almost always ends up falling asleep. It is the only day of the week that this happens.....and Jared loves it. 

This photo was actually taken right after Small Group this past Sunday. Lauren crawled up onto his lap and the next thing I knew they were both sound asleep. 

I don't know how much longer our little gal is going to be snuggling up on her Daddy.....but for right now I will enjoy the sheer sweetness of these moments. 

Sweet.....

I love this photo of Nate and his Daddy. He wanted to show his Dad something "cool" on the iPad before he left for work one morning. 

Silly Boys.....

The other day these two little guys were being silly.  I wish you could "hear" these photos....just imagine alot of giggling.

I love these kind of moments.

My Little Helper.....

I have lots of little helpers throughout the day and it looks like Adam wanted to do his share.  He loves get a hold of the broom if I leave it out in the kitchen....he's so fun to watch.

Enjoy these photos of our growing boy and that sweet face....he totally brightens our days.

And yes....the walker that he is in is ancient. They don't make em' like that anymore!  He loves having some wheels to cruise around the house with.  

Happy Birthday Luke.....

It was 3 years ago on June 4, that God blessed us with our fourth child....Luke William. I dedicate this post to my "full of life" son who I love deeply and couldn't imagine my life without.

You make me laugh every single day.....

You challenge me every single day.....

You keep life interesting with your emotionally charged personality.....

You were excited to get your own sports stuff for your birthday...

You have an amazing imagination.....

You even have an imaginary friend named, "Judge".....

You just got your first buzz cut from your Dad.....

(I'm still getting used to how much older you look!)

You like to be pulled in your wagon.....

You love to ride your bike.....

(and just started using your pedals)

You enjoy playing in your sandbox.....

You love playing with your monster trucks and your brother's Star Wars action figures.....

You like to use your wooden tools and pretend to fix stuff.....

You like to say, "Check it out".....

You have a super sweet belly laugh.....

You would rather be shirtless....

(I actually had to put your shirt on right before these photos were taken :)

You just started taking a tubby with your baby brother.....

You love love love to play the drums, all. the. time......

You have a favorite drummer, Mr. Bedinghaus .....

(thanks for the sweet drumsticks Rob!!)

You have the sweetest sounding prayers.....

You like to tell people that your name is "Dash".....

(from "The Incredibles")

You love green apples, and eat about 2 every day.....

You love to wear camo just like your brother Noah.....

You listen to music as you fall asleep at night.....

You still sleep with your little bear that you have had your whole life.....

You like to fight the "bad guys" with your guns.....

You pretend that Lauren is the princess.....

You say you no longer need a nap because you are a big boy.....

(I beg to differ)

You love going for walks around the neighborhood.....

You are finally potty trained.....

(my most difficult one yet!)

You like to ring the doorbell, and when I open it you say, "Pizza Guy!".....

You seem to be out of your destructive faze.....

(Praise the LORD!)

You love to ride on your Daddy's back.....

You are always making crazy sound effects when you play with your toys.....

You are always driving your brother Nate crazy with those sound effects.....

You call me your "Sweetheart".....

(melts my heart every time)

You run to the door when Daddy gets home from work.....

You are such a great big brother to baby Adam, you still love to hold him.....

You enjoy playing with playdough.....

You've worked hard this year memorizing Scripture with your brothers and sister.....

You love to play with your brothers' lego creations.....

(you are getting better about being careful with them....which Nate is thankful for)

You love to wrestle with your Daddy and brothers.....

You love mama's chocolate chip pumpkin muffins.....

(I mad them special for you on your birthday)

You have lots of little buddies your age from church.....

Your favorite animal is a piggy.....

You love to be read to.....

(one of my favorite things to do with you)

You still like to play in your little pool on the deck.....

Your favorite band is The Good Shepherd Band.....

You have a certain smile you give when I ask for you to show me your "special smile".....

As you blew out your candles I couldn't help the emotion that welled up within me. Here you were, 3 years old already....I could hardly believe what a big boy you've become. You started talking around a year old, and haven't stopped....you give us lots of laughter with your sense of humor. There certainly is never a dull moment with you....your personality is both a blessing and a challenge. Daddy and I pray for you everyday. We pray that God would be merciful as we raise you up to be a godly man....that He would work in and through us showing us much grace along the way. I love our special time we have in the morning before your brothers and sister wake up....just you and I snuggled up on the couch reading a pile of your favorite books. I have so very much to be thankful for and you my sweet son, are certainly one of them.

Happy Birthday Lukey

I Love You,

Mommy

Our five in May....

I always seem to have good "intentions" in keeping up with my blog....and then life happens. I'll do my best to keep you up to date with what we have all been up to. I have a ton of photos to share.  The kids are growing so fast...especially our little guy who is now 7 months old!!!

We are enjoying life here in the Mid-west.....absolutely loving this place. My heart is so thankful to God for his grace and mercies in bringing our family here. Summer is fast approaching and we have been filling our days with school, playing outside, riding bikes, going for walks, playing at the park, picnics,  spending time with friends, planting our garden, and swimming, (Jared just put the pool up for the kids....they were so excited!)

Here is a photo of our crew a couple of weeks ago.  I feel guilty for not sharing some of the photos on my hard drive for those of you who live far away and aren't able to see the kids very often. I will try to carve out some time to post some photos a couple of times a week this summer.

We look forward to traveling to PA to visit family in July and have been happy to have both sets of our parents visiting us recently...(my mom is here right now...I love you mom!)

Hope you are enjoying life wherever you are! 

Much love to you all,

Lisa