Noah recently went on his first ever 3 day (2 night) camping trip. He went with a great group of kids from church as well as a wonderful family who heads up Canoe Creations. He of course had a blast and I of course missed him a ton. The energy in our home is so different with out that first-born personality throughout our day. Noah's sense of humor is like his father's and was missed while he was away.
I have to be honest in saying that it was really difficult for me to let him go. Thankfully it wasn't my decision, as my husband made the call. Jared knew that it would be good for all of us. I tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't leave, trying to justify the fact that maybe he wasn't ready, maybe he was too young to have an overnight, what if there was a storm, what if he got a migraine?...yadda yadda yadda.
After praying about it and being deeply convicted....it all boiled down to me not trusting God with my son. It's even hard for me to write that...but it's true. For some demented reason I had this illusion that as long as my children are with me or their Daddy they are safe from all harm. This is a lie. A lie that I have repented from, praying for God's forgiveness. I know that I will have many opportunities in which to test my faith. When I start to get that anxiety feeling inside because I don't want to let them go....I know what I must do. It is hard, and with a lump in my throat and by God's grace....I let go.
God graciously reminds me that my children belong to Him....they are in His hands, always. And what better hands to be in, than their heavenly Father's.
In God's providence there was a big storm while Noah was camping. I saw the dark clouds rolling in, the wind was blowing and I could hear thunder in the distance. I got online and saw the red on the radar around the lake they were on. I prayed. During the storm, a close friend called me to see how I was doing, she was well aware of my fear as I had shared with her earlier in the week. I was able to tell her that by God's grace, I actually was not worried about him...at all. Amazing! I knew that wherever he was and that whatever happened God was with him. This security wasn't something I mustered up myself....God was faithful and supplied me with all I needed in order to trust in Him. I was so thankful for that peace.
The following photos are of when we went to pick up Noah. It was fun to watch all of them paddle in on their canoes. He was smiling from ear to ear as he walked up the hill. I had to keep myself from running to hug him. His brothers and sister missed him SO much...it was very sweet to see their excitement as they hugged and kissed their big brother.
I think just maybe Noah grew up a little bit while away. I guess that's what is supposed to happen to our boys...another good reason to let them go.
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